Being your whole self

Many, many years ago I took part in a workshop on clowning. An unlikely sentence for a therapist! In the workshop we were given some homework one evening: to draw a flower and label each petal a part of who we are. The following day we all duly brought in our labelled flowers. Most people had about five petals. They perhaps were something like “daughter, wife, performer, sister, cat-mother”.

But one of us brought forth a glorious bloom with tens of petals. “People watcher.” “Midnight snacker.” “Dreamer.” “Lover of dogs.” “Silly.” “Wise.” “Enthusiastic reader of crime novels.” And so on.

It blew my mind. It was so obvious all of a sudden: we all, as the saying goes, contain multitudes. We have so many different parts that make up who we are, some of them harmonious, some contradictory, some conventional and some downright ridiculous.

Being able to have sense of ALL of our parts is what is referred to in psychology as being integrated. Nobody is all one thing, and having an awareness of this is healthy. With integration comes resilience too, knowing that even if our despairing part is particularly alive right now, our hopeful part will be along shortly.

And it is this idea that I have tried to draw on when presenting myself to the world via this website. I am not just a therapist, I am not just a photographer, I am both and many other things besides. These aspects of self are interconnected and bring health, resilience and richness. It makes me think of the last verse of the Hokey-Cokey, “You put your whole self in…” In being present with the differing parts of me, I hope to model an integrated self for all those I work with. I will always put my whole self in, and hope this communicates to others that they can do the same.